acceptance

i suppose i should be celebrating since i have done something right this time. getting IT was no piece of cake and i admit i was pleased with the results. finally, my parents will now stop bugging me and i have redeemed myself in their eyes. but something else is bothering me, not because this is going to be another challenge, but its because i dont want IT. id rather be stuck now not doing anything yet and wait for something that feels "just right" than be forced to do something that i said i would not do before. unfortunately, i dont have the luxury of waiting around for that something that would feel "just right". i need this and so does my family. theyve been holding their breaths, waiting and hoping that i would finally move my lazy ass. now that theyve gotten what they want, i wonder if i should go along with them...??

i have always envisioned banks to be a prison, a stifling environment that will only keep me locked in and ill never be able to do anything fun. although some people are confident about starting in one, im not. i dont want to be in the same industry as marcos. by the way, i associated working in one with MARcos who is a control freak, very meticulous with the small details and very organized. i am not one of those things jud and i wonder if ill survive. which brings me to another worry... they are expecting their "newbies" to last like a hundred years in their company.. "the bank grows and you grow with the bank", ive heard them say... yes, but what if i dont wana grow old with you guys?  i absolutely dont want to have another marcos at home!!

next week, ill start getting my pre-employment papers already.. and this fact just does not console me. i am still waiting for that other thingie but i figured, i might have been too late for that. which brings me to this..... im gona celebrate alright.. and prepare myself for another misery-laden training...